!?? SHE calls ME a STALKER !??
You probably found this blogpost because the girl of my dreams accused me of STALKING her and published sensitive personal information on social media. Follow this Link to see the Official Heiner Radau Stalking Report that she fabricated entirely: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1380006002015676/permalink/3580417181974536/
But to Truly Understand an Artwork,
You Have to See the Full Picture:
THIS STORY IS A TOTAL HOAX.
Because her claims are only partially true and seem to shine a defamating light on my personality, i am hereby publishing the TRUE version of our story. People have all kinds of interests these days, and you might just have been caught in a particular case. To provide a clearer picture of the overall situation i will have to go all the way back to when we met, and tell you what is really going on. Really this is none of your business, but you have no clue who she really is.
How We Met
I met Mai for the first time on 13th of August 2016 at the rooftop bar of FlipSide Hostel Hanoi, and i already knew i had to be careful with this appearance that i was suddenly facing. Vietnamese girls are pretty, but there was something different about her.. One of the first things we talked about was Instagram, and all of the seemingly perfect and happy people, who would showcase only the tip of the iceberg and hide their personal problems. Where do all their issues go? They make it fashion. She told me she wanted to make a fashion label as well.
I told her about my background as a designer and that i had been working for big names in fashion, like Jean Paul Gaultier and Alexander Mc Queen. I proposed to help her with everything concerning print design for her own project. She invited me for coffee next day and to show me around her city. But I quickly realized that there was an unusually strong magnetic pull in her aura, and i felt just a little too good being with her. Only two days later i ended up confessing my love to her. I expected to be rejected, but she said that she knows that feeling. So we were texting, and meeting up almost every day and my feelings for her grew way too fast for my mind to follow.
A Trip to Heaven and Hell
Two weeks later she wanted to go visit her exboyfriend in Da Nang, who she told me was crazy about her and would certainly go mad when he found out what she has been doing on her side while their relationship was on a hold. So I was concerned for her well being and accompanied her to Da Nang to be by her side in case anything happened. The 18 hour train trip made it to the most beautiful experiences in my life, and i was in heaven as we were holding hands and sleeping in each other’s laps. We were eye-gazing and i literally saw another dimension. I never felt so much peace in my life, and i prayed that we would be together one day as soon as possible.
I was already addicted.
Unfortunately the sailing didn’t go smooth. The next day was the 24th of August- one day before i turned 28 years old. She went to see her ex that evening and i had the darkest birthday of my life, crying all evening because the girl i loved so deeply was in somebody elses arms. I was driving my rented bike, way too fast through the rainy streets of an unknown city that i already hated. I honestly thought about killing myself that night..
When i came back to the homestay we booked together, She was there too. I was surprised when She told me that she too was crying a lot when she met her ex, because they couldn’t be together. She told me that they had sex anyway. Can you imagine how i felt? Emotionally broken as i was, i said that i was happy that she had a bad time as well. At least it made us equal, somehow. We kept on taking and she told me about her first boyfriend, an artist who was much older then her. She must have been not older then 16 when she experienced her first tremendous heartbreak. I saw her pain, and decided to care for her. She had put a black cable fixer around her wrist and i symbolically freed her when i opened it with my Leatherman Multitool. She was only 18 years old, and I wanted her to be happy, so at that point i decided that i would accept the situation as it is. But would i really be able to love her unconditionally and stay sane at the same time? Could you love someone with all your heart and soul and accept that !???
My Ego was hurt because she was continuously meeting other guys while i developed intensely mixed feelings for her. I had to face my demons, over and over again, to the point where i didn’t even know any more if she was an Angel or a Demon. On the day of my birthday we went to Hoi An, and we lost the tool i used to free her wrist the day before. I wasn't very happy about the overall situation. And she was on her period. So it was a good moment to hit the road and I then flew to Saigon to finish the Vietnam drawing i was working on at that time.
view the different city posters here
And out of the blue she sent me a picture of a strawberry with a raw heart instead of the berry. And she was coming there a couple of days later, so i had reasons to hope again and was looking forward to meet her. When we met, she seemed genuinely interested in me, but simultaneously told me about this other guy who was a friend of her ex and now she feels like she’s falling in love with him!?? I was devastated- who is this new guy all of a sudden?? But she was cheeky and pretty as a fruit, speaking to me in her low voice that she said she couldn’t fake.. She showed me the watch she had just bought and was wearing around her wrist now: an antique little watch that stood still. She had also bought me a painting as a gift, but said she would give it to me later.. Another day i met her again with a friend of hers who she introduced me as a Mathematician. Before that we met with a friend of hers who she met on an Online Origami forum. I could already tell that she had some special dedication for intelligent hobbies.
But by then I had realized that i was too much into her, because i couldn’t even control my mind anymore, i was seeing only her everywhere i looked. My whole universe seemed to be evolving around her, and coincidences made meaningful appearances. So thats when i left to Laos, trying to reassemble myself, to be strong and independent, for her and me. When we split at a breakfast in Saigon was the moment when I experienced the extend to which her presence influenced me physically for the first time. As we were casually chatting, there was a very cool breeze around my heart chakra, and i started to feel drained. I asked her about the feeling, and she said she would ask her dad about it, because he knows everything about energies. When we left the café, all of a sudden everything turned black and i found myself again sitting on the street. Was is the heat, or was is her? This was the first time that we hugged goodbye and I felt like she would be missing me, and it gave me strength.
view the laos collection here
But Laos didn’t go too well either. Besides drawing, I couldn’t manage to stop thinking only about her. I painted all my love and pain into the Laos drawing, like i had done in Hanoi before, like I had continued to do throughout all these last years. All of my drawings are the visual diaries of our love story. But she wasn’t texting me back enough so we could work on the fashion project together with a friend of hers. I didn’t want to work with someone whose communication is totally unreliable, and i had to understand that this is not going to work out the way i thought it would. It was a painful realization as it broke the dream i had envisioned for us of being together 24/7 and enjoying all kinds of creative activities. After that, i had a couple days of what seemed to be a bad food poisoning. Now i can tell that it was the symptoms of me lacking h e r in my life. I was seriously addicted.
Dreams Do Come True
In this time Mai continued to post art and drawings, a hobby that she told me, she had started because of me. When i came back to Hanoi three weeks later, she called immediately and we met on the same day at FlipSide Hostel again. :-O And again she told me that she was in love, now with another even more recent guy. LOL I was devastated again. Trust me It wasn't funny. Anyway i took the pain, and continued seeing her, trying to be friends, rather then loosing her altogether. She helped me to find a tailor for the T-shirt collection i was working on.
view the t-shirt collection here
So we spent another week, meeting daily and enjoying each others company. Despite the fact that she kept on telling me about the feelings she had for some other guy, we made love together one day before i had to leave Vietnam to go back to Germany. I was already planning to come back as soon as possible, maybe even move here to make our love work. On the last day, we made an art project together, blowing up balloons and knotting them together, then spray painting it and putting it on a lake. Looking at this artwork now, it seemed like a precursor of what our relationship was about to evolve into: loads of balloons filled with dreams, intensely interconnected and yet very fragile.
From Direct to Indirect
I left to Berlin, Germany and went back to live with my exgirlfriend who i had broken up with for Mai, a couple of days after i met her for the first time. Because I already knew that she was The One. Meanwhile my exgirlfriend had became a lesbian and i didn’t have sex with her anymore, except for one time to find out that it really wasn’t worth it. I told Mai what happened, and she just answered that she also had sex with this other guy. I was devasteted. Again. It made me very sad, since i was still so much in love with her, but it was so difficult to have an official relationship with her since the communication was so unsteady and she seemed to push me away every time we wrote. I waited a couple of days and then i saw the instagram post that would drastically change my whole interpretation of everything that has happened before: a picture with red clocks on carpet, the caption saying something like „ time is running out mon prince“ which was a referral to my messenger name back in those days „Prince Purple …“.
screenshot of our messenger from 26.Oct 2016
I then looked at all the posts she had made in the past and compared them to our messenger communication and the overall situation that moment. Everything was a match, and explained more about what had happened. At this point i understood that everything she had posted on social media since the day we met, was indeed addressed to me. Posting something that explicitly refers to your special someone on social media is a great proof of sincerity and prioritizing.
So i joined the game in the name of love, and created a second instagram account, entirely dedicated to her. I changed my whole social media behavior and learned to use pictures, captions, metaphors and symbolism to continue communicate with her indirectly, to give her the safety i felt she needed. But it came with an unexpected twist: the better i got at speaking „picture talk“ the more she would take distance from me and send even less direct messages. Everything happened in a couple of month. At some point our indirect communication was so established that it was safe for her to block me officially and yet stay in touch. I didn’t understand it and I still can’t completely wrap my head around this behavior. My frustration and anger about this scenario can be felt reading my earlier messages from 2017, when i followed what i interpreted to be her invitation to visit her again in Vietnam. When i arrived with my backpack at her house, she would not want to see me and text me to get lost, while at the same time giving me the address of the school she went for „gifted girls“. I didn’t go after her. I was a broken man. And I am not proud of these messages, i am not proud of lying to her after that, even if she had hurt me. When we mirror the wrong behavior of other people, we will never find peace. We are each to take responsible for our actions, and try our best to speak what we wish to realize. And yes, i am a stalker for her, but she started it. The way i was brought up is to believe in love and truth, but the pain of her seemingly unreciprocated love made me loose my faith in my personal ethical standards a couple of times. I wanted her so badly that I let my hurt ego and anger take me over and eventually hurt her feelings a couple of times. And i am honestly so sorry about it.
So when i came back to Germany in 2017, i was totally broken. I did not understand anything at all. I was frustrated and i felt betrayed. I was not in a good place, so i decided to pick myself up. I practiced meditation and western magic to intercept the strong energetic bond that connected us. And it worked. For more then half a year i was an “independent” being, focused on money and business. I built my web shop from scratch and simultaneously went to sell my city drawings in the Berlin subway.
TIP Berlin, Newspaper publication see full article here
It was a good time, finally feeling like people see my intrinsic value. I was proud of every single follower that i made working in the underground. I got into the newspaper, and then even into TV, which lead to my first Exhibition in Galerie HILT: one of the finest Art Galleries in Basel, Switzerland.
At that time i filled the big void that her absence made me feel by connecting to source directly through daily ritual and casually meeting some girls. Yet i quickly realized that they would start to ask me for security and not reply my messages when they noticed that i am not really really interested into them. I didn’t chase them. Instead I opened my energetic channels again for the only girl i was ready to give that amount of energy and security to. And that was the moment when Mai came back to me. This was in July 2018 and if you don’t know the background story, it seems like out of the blue she sent me an invitation on LinkedIn, unblocked me and wrote me on facebook. But actually i had asked her publicly to unblock and write me and she did it, even though she still rejected me with ambiguous words when writing with her directly. It’s difficult to talk to somebody who kisses your soul and provokes your ego at the same time. I think I didn’t handle it like I should have. Eventually she blocked me again and we continued our indirect communication. I discarded all the girls i was dating, and kept her in my heart ever since. Because i was afraid of losing her again, I didn’t have sex with anybody since November 2018. (!!!)
My Lady Buddha
With Mai being back in my virtual life, i put the business aside and enjoyed our exchange of pure energies. Her transcendental mindstate was not new for me, but i was happily surprised she picked up on my energies and posting the most beautiful picture that confirmed it :) When i met her first, i already figured that she was not only in touch with some other realms, but deeply immersed in them. This might be because she is the daughter of a highly regarded in Hanoian Kung Fu and Meditation Master.. Or some other reason that I shall not guess about. She once told me that i am one of the few persons besides her dad that she can talk about psychic phenomenon and experiences. Another common friend told me that she would have visions on a daily basis, not even being high on drugs. And even me, who is not on the same level of psychic abilities can easily experience blue and colored lights when i think of her and do breathing work. From what i learned and heard, she has visions all the time. Reality is not so real for her: It is a multilayered dream and she teaches the dreamer the laws of manifestation. Though our indirect communication, energy exchange and synchronicities of the universe as well as my personal physical experiences in various situations and multiple Tarot readings i can assure you that there is definitely something sacred about her. I assume that her psychic powers like clear voyance and clear sentience are only a fragment of her large portfolio of supernatural abilities.. Have you ever heard the rumors about The Lady Buddha?
I really wanted to know and learn more about her and her world. So for Christmas 2018/19 i decided to follow her again, and invested into our connection on various channels. She slowly started to blossom, posting only as much as once every week. I don’t remember the exact circumstances but at one point in mid 2019 She posted a beautiful and isolated vietnamese house, the caption „wedding cake“ after that: a selfie with her prettiest face, caption „i’m serious i’m telling ya“ I deduced from it, that she actually wants to marry me, but that she knows that she is still too young to settle.
the drawing i made from her post and put it all over Hanoi to praise her
When we met in Da Nang, she told me that she doesn’t want to have a family and follow all that conservative layout. She was looking for her Soulmate and someone to share stories with. Was i her Soulmate, or did she just play with me, like with every other guy who failed to love her according to her high standards, and thus received a lesson in humility... The incertitude that she would make me feel was the real test. Would i be able to control the intense emotions that arised together with my insecurity, love for her soul, desire for her body, and the possibility of being taken for a total joke?
Meanwhile our connection has attracted a whole other audience, and many people know about us online. This story is a big thing, involving many A List celebrities as well as other beautiful souls. But this is not what matters here and now. Yes, This story IS a stalker story, but it is also much more then that. It is a big artwork that we have fabricated together, for my own part mostly subconsciously. It is a Story that has broken me a great many times already but has also made me stronger every single time. Those of You who have experienced Love, especially in Asia may know what i am talking about. Some women need a massive amount of trust for and from their man, and the only way they can actually look behind the curtain of cute words and appearances is to put them through rough reality checks and seemingly harsh situations. I believe that this is what is happening right now, at least partially.
"picture talk" image from Mai 2016, explaining me that her love letters are like razor blades
The Picture Talk
I decided to go with that as a working theory and see what happens if i give her all that i am. So we went through the year 2019 with indirect communication via the „Picture Talk“ mentioned before, and i tried to become famous with my art and fashion. But every important person i asked for help, pushed me back and refused to cooperate until i was talking to them using “Picture Talk”. It became an unbreakable pattern in my online business relationships. When i discovered the “Picture Talk” in 2016, i thought Mai and me were the only people using sign language online, but as it turned out its really a big thing if you know a little more about how people nowadays use social media. By Posting pictures instead of writing it allows you to show commitment on a personal, emotional level and prioritizing someone publicly. I guess we all want to feel special, don’t we?
"picture talk" image that Mai sent me when she was still teaching me about the 360° online dedication that comes with a serious picture talk. I didn't understand it back then.
But for me nobody is as special as Mai, so for Christmas 2019/20 i sent her one of my Best Selling Products: the London Bucket hat.
view the whole collection of hats here
I knew her new address, since it was mentioned publicly in the profile that she used to connect with me on LinkedIn one year earlier. And i guess she received it, because she posted a full closeup selfie picture of herself wearing glasses, with what seemed like an invitation to come to Vietnam again in the second slide. So that’s what i did, and that’s why i’m here now.
she's so gorgeous. this has never happened before!
The Deep Web
Since my arrival in Vietnam i knew that I had to go all in, and so I did copy her behavior and created fake profiles to show her how much she matters to me. She had started to contact me with dubious profiles before, i just didn't get it yet. Like I mentioned before, Honesty is my highest moral standard and my only way to find peace of mind. But in the name of love, I created these profiles to show her all the way that I was ready to go for her to meet her half way. I started to have direct contact with some accounts that had added me out of the blue on Facebook and who had similar writing style, and the same strange twisted language she would always use. One of these accounts was a black guy, who looked just like her, If she was to be reincarnated as and African dude and we finally started to talk again, under false flag appearance. This deep web level seemed to provide her with enough comfort to tell me how she really felt. It was the first time in years that i cried for a good reason.
What I never understood was how she did all of that? This black guy has almost 5000 followers and all of his friends were talking in a weird accent. It seemed super real; especially when this guy asked me for pictures and wanted to video call. I picked up the call: It was a bad quality men’s voice, sounding Indian the first time we called. The voice messages on the other hand had a clearly Africain accent. I kept my identity secret, because I didn’t want to lose this Safe Heaven with her, but my dreams fell apart when i heard that mans voice. Have I been making up this whole story? Or did she use audiofiles to play me? The picture talk was already subject to interpretation but this was totally impossible to prove. One week later, I started to chat with him again. And she gave me a good indicator: using a sentence that I had used on my Instagram some days prior to that. And this guy couldn’t have known about this sentence, if he didn’t know who I really am: Heiner Radau. I am still in contact with her using this channel even throughout this shitstorm that she has created for me.
Social Media Hacking
But Why Would Anybody In The World do that?
I believe it is her need for security, combined with the game of chase between boys and girls. What comes easy goes easy, but what takes time to be built, can last for ever. But thats not all. When I started do do promotions on my Instagram account with the help of payed influencers, some account started to follow me and propose payed promotion. I saw that it was an account that was grown unorganically and the comments and likes were totally fake. I can tell that because i have also tried to use bots and automation for promoting my instagram in the past but the algorithm was already too advanced when i started it. Also the following rate changed from 99K to 89K and kept moving between those numbers. But i still I did the promotion with him. Why? Because all of the posts in this account were brand new and seemed to describe our situation. I did some other checks to find out if it was really her and ended up being convinced that it is another fake profile of Mai, and that she must have acquired the ability to do social media hacking.
One of the promotions i ran with her fake account on instagram.
View the entire collection of masks here.
I was baffled. Did she really work on all of these skills behind my back during the last year and is now able to help me with what I had always wanted? To be able to make sales with my art and fashion? Did she do her part on the working of our dream of having a fashion company together?
The promotion turned out to be as difficult as every conversation we had together. The promoter made mistakes that are really too dumb for anybody to make, like putting wrong links, creating captions so stupid that it was almost funny, not answering my messages, not posting the story correctly. I got angry and wanted to get my money back.
But then I found a post on Facebook groups that was looking for a German to advertise for a videoclip where experts meet. I sent the video, but I was told that I look too young. Lol. On the return she told me that she had many job possibilities for me. And I knew that I could not keep up this spending of money for fake advertisement without real return of investment so I inquired. What was funny was that this girl messaged me at the same time then the promoter i was working with, who i believe to be Mai. And this happened a couple of times. Was it coincidence? Next to proposing me a job on the countryside outside of Hanoi once i got a working visa, this woman also helped me to find a visa agent, and the agency was in an area of Hanoi that carries the name: Quynh Mai. Thats her full name, except her family name which i will not disclose for her safety.
Besides that due to the legal risk of defamation i am also not disclosing her fake accounts in case it isn't her. Anyway i can not prove its her, because she is so incredibly smart and subtle. I just made the mistake to always end up telling her my fake accounts are me, by posting bulletproof evidence. I'm just not a good liar, unlike her LOL. So yes, i am telling you the whole truth here and since she is my partner in crime it looks like i'm delivering her to your judgement, but i don't think any of you will either read until here, nor be able to believe in this story that even i have difficulties to believe from time to time.
So, all in all here is what I can tell about this situation. There are many reasons why I believe that Mai is the One who started the Stalker Game in order to ensure a lasting interest from my side until she is ready to trust me fully and marry me. Yes, I know it’s a strange story, but hey I’m just trying my best here to be the man she really deserves. So don’t talk bad about me, because this situation is totally biased and neither you or me really know what’s going on. This is H.E.R. game, and I trust her to work on the best outcome for both of us. I believe that this is also why she didn’t go to the police or embassy because as she said in the comments: this story would get out of control. If anybody here has a mind open enough to consider this story to be true, please refrain from sending her negative messages. It’s not your business unless you buy something now using the sitewide secret 20% discount code "PARTNERINCRIME". If you were involved in this game against your will I am sorry and you are free to mind your own business again. I do not want to encourage people to spread hate or anger, even if this creates the most engagements on social media. Instead of firing the short lived flames of slander and war, we owe it to our future to find long lasting solutions that are based on trust and create real mutual benefit in the long run. Thus would be the message of Lady Buddha.
I want to thank all my friends who know that i am a genuinely good person and who are courageous enough to believe that DREAMS DO COME TRUE.
Mai, you are a beautiful being and you have a heart of gold. Your intelligence is incredible, and If I am entirely wrong with my interpretation of this situation I ask to be forgiven about my mental state and accept to be put into a psychiatric hospital or even jail if this makes you feel safer. All I ever wanted was peace of mind and working together in love. I LOVE YOU and I am available for you to contact me via direct message and meeting me in the safe environment of our mutual friends. Besides that i am always there for you via the safe channels.
Hanoi 15.Mai 2020